Hmmm...

 Aight I had to get my real blog out of the way to make room for the nothingness.

Right now, my head is empty.

I'm ready for break, and I can't even begin to think straight anymore.  Books make my head hurt.

I'm tired.  I feel sick all the time.  Sometimes my eyes just say "Hell with this!" and lose focus w/ no warning!

I think I feel like writing off the top of the dome...

I sit here staring at this screen
Hours out of my day...
Can't even tell you what I read or wrote or
Anything for that matter
Is my life walking by my window?
Through the grass and around trees and in snow
My life is actually somewhere far beyond
It's not under my window
Or in the grass out there
Not even @ home in my bed having dinner w/ my family
My life died the minute I picked up the first novel of my junior year of college
I had to kill it before it killed me
Academically

Yeesh!

It's been a few days since I've blogged.

It's not like I have a loyal fan base, but I'm just saying.

I guess I blog to myself to help keep my life events in order.  I often forget what day it is.

So the other night I went to see the fathers from Black.White.

The good thing is that I remembered to write down the point that I was so serious about.

So Brian, the Black guy said "I read all the blogs and stuff about the show, and people were saying 'Oh the Black family is just hypersensitive to race.  It's not that bad.'[...]I don't have to look for racism, because it finds me.  Racism knows where I am.[...]
I went to a seafood store down in LA b/c I love seafood.  When I got to the register, the white guy behind the counter looks at me 
and says  'You know we don't take food stamps.'  Now...did I have to look for that or did it just happen?"

Valid point?  I'd say so.

People always accuse the Black community as a whole to being overy sensitive and always
looking for things to come our way, but when we live in a world where people automatically
assume we need assistance to buy our food, are we looking for that?  Are we looking for some
of this discrimination on jobs and in communities when it comes to buying homes?  

This shit happens on the daily.

It's 100% real.
 

It's too late to be blogging...

I'm tired as all get out.

I meant to do this earlier, but school trumps blogging.

Anyway, today was interesting.

I had one class, and I was late.

My prof was like "OK..this time you're a little too late." 
(insert stern face here)

The unfortunate part was that 
I don't know if I could have cared less.

Anyway, other than that mess, I saw the two fathers 
from that FX show Black.White.

Great presentation.

I was really torn between that and staying in to watch House, but 
the speakers beat Hugh Laurie. 

The Black father made some good points which I'm going to
scribble down right now before I forget them, and blog about them when I can type and not have to fix shit constantly.

Errrmmmm...

I think that may be it for now.

I'm kinda mad that my sleeves on this waffle print hooded henley are short for no reason.  
I bought 5 or 6 of these things and only one of them did this.  Talk about annoying!

Oh!  On the up side, my late night ramblings have allowed me to be awake
for the highlight of my evening!  A tag on my Paxed page from my favorite intellectual, Jay_20782.

It' s funny...as soon as I saw that tag I perked right up.

I'm too damn old to be boy crazy.  Ha!

Inside my mind...

I'm one of those people that expects you to read my mind.

If you know me, you should already know what I'm thinking b/c I'm predictable.

I never really like anything or anyone, unless it's free food.

But alas, I have succumbed to the blog craze.

Now you don't have to try to read my mind, because I'll regurgitate all 
my angry thoughts onto this thing.

That being said, check back often for updates. 

Just some junk...

I was just on another site talking about a song that has 
gained mass popularity online.

"Y'all Should All Get Lynched" by NYOIL.

http://www.myspace.com/nyoil if you haven't heard it.

Some love it, some hate it.

Personally, I think that anyone who understands what he's saying 
on a real level can't possibly get mad.

If you get it, you know how true that shit is.

So I said...

"There was one line in that song that really had me pissed.

Not at him or at his message (which I'm 300% in agreement with), but about what he was talking about.

I don't remember it exactly, but it was something along the lines of "White man fuckin a Black woman on a dirty bed...had her screaming heil Hitler with his foot on her head...fucked her in the ass til his face was red...then changed his mind and nutted on her face instead."

I get pissed because I'm like...Damn. Is that REALLY what we're allowing to be done to ourselves?

This shit is not about individuals anymore, it's about the collective Black community. As a whole, people don't see it as destruction. They see it as life, and THAT'S where the massive ass problem comes in.

We've stopped fighting for life and started just accepting the bull shit we're handed. In a minute, we'll be back in the back of the bus. They've already succeeded in segregating a lot of schools again, so what's next?"

So what's next?

What else are they going to get to take from us before we fight back?

They already have our money and a lot of our pride.

We hardly have a culture of our own anymore.

Have our souls been sold to the devil, or are they just on loan?

Maybe this gives a little insight into my atypical psyche.