People keep asking me why I chose to become celibate.
No one can understand how somebody can just give up sex and still be alive I guess.
But I haven't been able to really talk about it to anyone.
They ask, and I answer. But not honestly.
So what better than to tell a bunch of strangers who probably will never read this?
I did it because I wasn't getting any in the first place.
And in my time off, I thought. I thought a lot.
I thought about the relationship I had just come out of that was fueled by about 98% pure lust and sexual energy.
We would lock eyes and lock hands...lock lips and arms and bodies...and before I knew it I was on orgasm number 5 and cloud 9 and losing my soul bit by bit to someone that wouldn't even store it properly.
And I couldn't get him to pick up the phone all day some days.
Couldn't even get him to keep a date.
But he could call when he needed some, and my silly perceptive ass was happy to oblige.
And when that bull shit ended and I escaped back to Oz to live my life alone again, the calls stopped coming and I stopped trying to make them and I realized that I just didn't need it.
Sex brings an insane amount of stress to any relationship.
Friends that fuck are often not friends anymore.
And sex can cause two people that otherwise love each other to stop talking and never want to speak again over a misunderstanding when the understanding that they had, which was greater, may have been that which changed the world.
I didn't have time for that stress.
And as I thought, I remembered that my body is a temple. By doing what I was doing I was desecrating my temple on more than one level.
I disrespected my body and I was giving away my mind, and one day I woke up and I was tired of that. I wanted my SELF back, and I wanted my control back.
And now I've got it, and I'm happy.
If I never meet another man that can deal with having a girlfriend that won't fuck him, I'll be my own damn girlfriend.
:)
