Daytime Despair.

For the last few days I have not felt "good."  
I know this feeling, and I know what comes after.
Depression, crying, frustration, indifference, confusion, anger.  Weakness.
Last semester I was so overcome with my wayward emotions that I was unable to complete my coursework.
I have been without a steady job since August of 2012, and not for lack of trying.
For the first few weeks, everything was fine.
I would bounce back in a month or two.  School would keep me busy, right?
By the time one month became three, I started to panic.
By five, I was a wreck.
I've had interviews.  I've had a few short-term situations.  But permanent work that is also fulfilling has yet to present itself.
Of course I could take to the call center environment or sell things to make someone else rich, but when I work in spaces that confine or frustrate me, I do not succeed.
And of course I've considered freelance writing or trying to make my blog a more profitable space, but all of those things require time and right now I have rent that is due.
My family thinks I should just leave my apartment and move home, not realizing that moving home would not only not really help, the stress of living in a house with two other adults who think they have a maid might result in someone dying or at least some very hurtful exchanges.

I try to rely on what I know.
It's all about networking.
It's not what you know, it's who you know.
God will provide.
He never puts more on us than we can bear.
If I can be faithful over a few things I'll be ruler over many.

But right now, I just want to pay my rent.