8.19.2010

Serious business.

I almost can't even write this from my Blackberry.

The emotions are too big for the tiny keys.

My heart is filled to bursting with excitement and joy and love.

It's a dope feeling.

Emotions on eleven
head swimming the back stroke.
Funny timing life has.

The voice on the phone
repeated my sentiments
Made me think so much more of you, love.
Made me think not less of him.
Maybe more frequently.

Yet…all I want is you.
I almost wish I didn't
and I feel crazy sometimes.
but I know I'm not alone in my insanity.
There are others there with me.
And we all roam the halls
from daylight into dusk
Singing to ourselves about distant love.

And yes, I break into poetry. Sometimes I break into song. But at this moment the only thing that made my life communicatable was a poem. Explaining everything that just happened was tooooo much.

Crazy how life overlaps.
I wonder if it isn't repeating itself on purpose.
It has a lot to say
but it can't teach new lessons
until old ones are truly learned.
And here I am, bumping my head and determined
to beat life
to beat experience
to do things my own way and win.
I was always taught
that what I want to do cannot be done
but I don't intend to ever stop trying.

I'd ask you to forgive me if what I'm saying doesn't make sense, but if I may paraphrase Ru, "I'm searching in my purse for a fuck to give."
C. Noelle

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