3 months later...

Sitting here thinking...
3 months away from my blog that I said
I was going to do every day.
Here I am growing and changing and not leaving a long enough trail behind me.

I just wrote a personal poem
for the first time since September.

School has had me so consumed that I haven't been able to get away into my words like I used to. But here I am now.

I just cried again.
Too many emotions running rampant at once.
But I don't know what to do with them.
I never get to really talk to anyone, and when I do I'm on the verge of tears already.
I have let life make me crazy.
At least I've let it try.
And now
it thinks it can.

I have a taste for some dressing and cranberry sauce.
I miss home.
My grown ass is homesick.

I miss myself.
Haven't really seen her around in a while.
She knows she's loved though.
I tell her every day when I
go to class and
read shit and
study and

deprive her of sleep for the betterment of our future.

What else is there?

How can one be so
deathly afraid of the one thing
she craves?
I recoil at the thought of
your touch
because I know it will reach
clear deep down into my
soul where
I don't even let myself go too often.
I hide from it and
pretend it's not what it is but in
reality I just
want to be in love and
love on you and
be loved on and then
live in that space
that I've been hiding from
with you and
show you everything that she's been keeping
in there.
And I want to tell you
all these things
every time I hear your voice.
I want to tell you
I love you.