2.19.2009

Stupid arguments.

We had one today.

"I'd like to see you before I leave tomorrow."

I was mad I didn't see him before I left. I meant today. He thought I meant yesterday.

I'm kinda sad because I really miss him.

Point being, you never really know what the other person heard.

We had a spat and that shit left me feeling bad. What if something happens while I'm gone?

I should say I'm sorry. I miss you. If I get into an accident and go into a coma just know that I went being in love with you.

That's what I should say.

Maybe I will.

This shit goes a good amount deeper than just me and B. It's really about B and other women.

About me feeling slightly inadequate and acting in that, but also being the type of chick that would give you her last just because.

Even when I'm mad and want to say whatever I'm thinking and get shit off my chest and maybe roll my neck a little, I've gone back into "just don't say shit" mode. At least partially.

Today, I didn't. And I snapped prematurely. Now I have to apologize, because it's driving me crazy.

But I wouldn't want to be with a man that I didn't want to apologize to. If I don't want to apologize, he's a soft ass and will take my shit. What woman wants that?

That or I've been dicked into submission.
C. Noelle

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